mercredi, mai 09, 2012

La Voleuse / The Thief

Nous avons des voleurs de tomates. Les écureuils qui envahissent le jardin sont les premiers accusés.
Ce matin nous avons découvert le (la) coupable....

We have a tomato thief among us. I have long suspected the backyard squirrels have been the culprits.
This morning we found they are not the guilty party...

LUPE!!!!
Bad dog!


French Humor

In France, being elected president is the easy part..

Published in April in L'Express, one of the leading socialist leaning magazine. This well known French humorist was already having a field day...

The Ghost Ship
***
" They wanted us to believe Hollande was a paddle boat captain! 
Not at all: he is a Caravel captain!

This reminds me of an old joke:
Who is the biggest socialist in history?

Answer: Christopher Columbus.

When he sailed, he had no idea where he was going.
When he landed he had no clue where he was.
And he did it all with other people's money!



Who said it was easy to govern France??

lundi, mai 07, 2012

La France A Parlé...

France has spoken indeed.



I have tried to Skype Marianne, and this morning her status still shows her "Away." I think I know why... 52% of her celebrated drinking champagne and eating merguez at the Bastille until the wee hours of the morning, while 48% of her went home and drowned her sorrow in champagne and petits fours. 
Knowing her I bet she was on stage singing and dancing with Ridan, Yaël Naim, Kassav, Mokobé and last but not least Yannick Noah (who the media tell us, is France's favorite singer )!
This morning she is probably nursing a headache and wondering what the heck happened to her.

Last night, I was able to talk to my family in Lyon - they were on Skype - where people were also celebrating. In the background, I could hear car horns, firecrackers and the "paim-pon" of emergency sirens. 
As my brother so eloquently said, " you would think we just won the World Cup!"

Speeches were many and some faces from the past reappeared. Faces such as that of Mazarine Pingeot, the illegitimate daughter whom François Mitterrand hid from the French for many years until she showed up at his funeral. 
We are told a new France has risen and it is more united than it has ever been.
 This being said, one could not help notice the numerous Algerian, Moroccan and Senegalese flags waving alongside the red flags of the Parti Communiste.  One only wished that there were a few more "Tricolores" among them.


But this is not the time for bitterness.
 François promises transparency and miracles. He will increase the minimum wage, reinstate retirement at 60 (instead of 62), re-hire thousands of civil servants and teachers, allow foreigners to vote in municipal elections... A complete audit of France's financial health will be done and it will undoubtedly show that we can afford it all. Otherwise we will raise taxes on those who are different from us, the middle class, and a 75% income tax seems like the right amount.
Nicolas' concession speech was sensible and he admitted he had made some mistakes. He took the blame and somehow looked relieved to have lost, finally asking if anyone had seen Carla. 
François' first speech -- from the city of Tulle in the Correze department -- was sensible and he thanked Nicolas for his love of the Republic.
To keep in the patriotic mood, Tulle was celebrating the Accordion Festival.

Meanwhile giddy journalists and talking heads were wondering if the "Internationale" would be sung at the Bastille? For Marine Le Pen and her Front National it probably sounded more like "Ah, Ça ira, Ça ira..", the 1790 revolutionary refrain of the sans-culottes.

Thank goodness, cooler heads were prevailing.
As my pragmatic brother said, "let's not get all excited just yet, for we have 5 years to figure it all out."
My sage sister-in-law mentioned the well known French political paradox: "presidents from the right govern on the left and presidents from the left govern on the right...."
My 82 year old mother had switched off her brand new (flat screen) T.V and was already in bed.

So, today, from this side of the Atlantic Ocean,
I will end this post with a favorite commentary from my wise husband, who after 35 years, has silently weathered many French elections.

" The French follow nobody and nobody follows the French."

A bientôt!